--- title: Safety url: https://strongercouple.app/faq/safety --- # Safety ## Is Stronger Couple safe to use if my relationship is abusive? No. We don't recommend Stronger Couple, or any couples app, if your partner hurts, threatens, controls or frightens you. Shared tools can give an abusive partner more ways to monitor or pressure you. Please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline instead: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. If you're in immediate danger, call 911. Visit [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) for more options. ## How do I know if what I'm experiencing is abuse? Abuse is a pattern of behavior used to gain power and control over a partner. It can be physical, but it also includes threats, insults, isolating you from friends, controlling money, monitoring your phone, or pressuring you sexually. If you often feel afraid or walk on eggshells, take that seriously. Our page [is this abuse?](https://strongercouple.app/help-now/is-this-abuse) and the [Hotline's warning signs](https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/) can help you sort it out. ## Why don't you recommend couples work when there's abuse? Because abuse isn't a communication problem. It's one partner choosing to control the other. The National Domestic Violence Hotline does not encourage anyone in an abusive relationship to seek counseling with their partner, because counseling can't fix that unequal power, and what you say in a session may be used against you later. Individual support from a domestic violence advocate is safer. Read the [Hotline's explanation](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/should-i-go-to-couples-therapy-with-my-abusive-partner/). ## Who can I call if I'm in danger right now? If you're in immediate danger in the United States, call 911. For confidential support from trained advocates at any hour, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Advocates can help you think through safety, make a plan, and find local shelters and services. More resources are on our [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) page. ## Who can I talk to if I'm thinking about suicide? Please reach out now. In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or chat at 988lifeline.org. It's free, confidential and available 24 hours a day. If you're in immediate danger, call 911. You don't have to be in crisis to call. Talking to someone can help. Our [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) page lists more support. ## Is there help outside the US? Yes. Find A Helpline, at findahelpline.com, lists free, confidential helplines in more than 175 countries, including domestic violence and suicide prevention lines, and you can filter by country and topic. If you're in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. The numbers on our [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) page, like 988 and 1-800-799-7233, work in the United States. ## What if my partner is threatening to hurt themselves to control me? Threatening self-harm to make you stay or do what they want is a form of emotional abuse. Take the threat seriously, but you don't have to give in, and you aren't responsible for their choices. If they're in danger, call 911 or encourage them to call or text 988. For your own safety and support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now). ## How do I leave this site quickly? Use the Quick Exit button on our [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) page, or press the Escape key, to leave immediately for a neutral website. Browsing history can't be completely erased, and private or incognito mode doesn't fully hide your activity. If you think someone checks your devices, use a computer they can't access, such as one at a library, and clear your history afterward. ## Is there help for men experiencing abuse? Yes. Abuse can happen to anyone, including men, and it is never your fault. The National Domestic Violence Hotline helps people of every gender, confidentially and without judgment. Call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Advocates can help with safety planning and local resources. The Hotline's page [men can be victims of abuse, too](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/men-can-be-victims-of-abuse-too/) has more. ## Is there help for LGBTQ+ people? Yes. The National Domestic Violence Hotline supports LGBTQ+ people at 1-800-799-7233, by texting START to 88788, or by chat at thehotline.org. LGBTQ+ young people can also contact The Trevor Project at any hour by calling 1-866-488-7386 or texting START to 678-678. If you're in immediate danger, call 911. See [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) for more resources. ## What if I'm worried about a friend's relationship? Start by listening without judging, and let your friend lead. Tell them what you've noticed and that you care, and respect their decisions, even when it's hard. Trying to fix things for them can push them away. Share the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, which also advises friends and family. Read the [Hotline's guide to helping a friend](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/getting-help-for-a-friend-in-need/). ## What does the app do if someone reports abuse in content? When you report a check-in or appreciation your partner shared, you choose a reason, such as Threat or violence or Harassment or bullying. A copy of the item goes to our team, who review every report, and you get a confirmation email. The app doesn't notify your partner about the report. You can also block them from the Partner tab. The app isn't monitored in real time and can't send emergency help. If you're in danger, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.