--- title: Weekly Relationship Check-In Worksheet (Printable) url: https://strongercouple.app/library/exercises/weekly-check-in-worksheet author: Stronger Couple Editorial Team published: 2026-10-18 updated: 2026-10-18 lastReviewed: 2026-10-18 topic: "Check-ins & rituals" sources: 3 --- # Weekly Relationship Check-In Worksheet (Printable) > A 30-minute weekly check-in worksheet for couples: appreciations, what went well, one issue, and a plan for next week. Print it or use it on screen. > **Safety first.** These ideas assume both partners feel safe. If you are afraid of your partner, or there is abuse, threats or coercive control, couples techniques are not the right tool. Talk to a domestic violence advocate instead. National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. In an emergency, call 911. More: https://strongercouple.app/help-now ## Key takeaways - A weekly check-in gives small problems a regular, scheduled place to be heard before they grow. - The Gottman Institute suggests a weekly State of the Union meeting of about an hour that starts with appreciation. - Open with what is going well, then raise only one issue per check-in. - A randomized trial found that brief relationship checkups improved intimacy and felt acceptance compared with a wait-list group. A weekly relationship check-in is a short, planned conversation where you share what went well, what was hard, and what you each need next week. This worksheet walks you through it in about 30 minutes. You start with appreciation, talk about one issue at most, and finish with a small plan. Each of you fills in your own copy, then you compare answers together. The idea is simple: problems are easier to handle when they have a regular place to go. The Gottman Institute recommends a weekly "State of the Union" meeting of about an hour that opens with appreciations before any problem comes up [^1]. Our [guide to doing a weekly relationship check-in](https://strongercouple.app/blog/how-to-do-a-weekly-relationship-check-in) explains the thinking behind it. This page is the hands-on version. There is also some trial evidence that regular checkups help. In a randomized trial of 215 married couples, couples who took part in brief relationship "checkups" reported more intimacy and felt more accepted than a wait-list group, with small to moderate effects [^2]. Those checkups were yearly visits with a professional, not a weekly worksheet, so treat that as encouraging, not proof. ## Time needed About 30 minutes a week: 5 minutes to fill in your own worksheet, 20 minutes to talk, and 5 minutes to plan and close. ## What you need - Two copies of the printable worksheet below, or two phones open to this page - Two pens - A quiet spot with no TV and phones face down - A timer, if you tend to run long ## Steps 1. **Pick a time and place.** Choose a regular 30-minute slot each week when you are both rested, fed, and free from screens. Sunday evening or a weekday after the kids are asleep works for many couples. 2. **Answer the worksheet on your own.** Spend five minutes each filling in your own copy before you talk. Writing first slows things down and helps quieter partners get their thoughts out. 3. **Start with appreciations.** Take turns sharing two or three specific things your partner did this week that you valued. "Thanks for handling the dishes on Tuesday when I was wiped out" lands better than "thanks for everything." 4. **Share what went well and what was hard.** Each partner shares their highs and lows while the other listens. The listener's job is to understand, not to fix, defend, or correct. 5. **Raise one issue gently.** Pick a single issue. Describe how you feel, the situation, and what you need, without blame. Look for one small step you can both try this week. Save other issues for future check-ins. 6. **Plan the week ahead.** Agree on one connection plan, such as a walk or a meal together, and note busy days, deadlines, or stresses coming up. 7. **Close warmly.** End with a thank-you, a hug, or something kind. Put next week's check-in on the calendar. > **Tip:** If either of you feels your heart racing or your thoughts going blank, call a pause. A break of at least 20 minutes gives your body time to calm down before you return to the conversation [^3]. ## Debrief questions Use these after your first three check-ins to adjust the format. - What part of the check-in felt most useful to you? - Did either of us feel rushed, unheard, or ambushed? - Is our time slot working, or should we move it? - Did we stick to one issue? If not, what pulled us off track? - What is one thing we want to keep doing next week? **In the Stronger Couple app:** [Weekly check-ins](https://strongercouple.app/app/weekly-check-ins) ## Printable worksheet Print one copy per partner. Fill in your own copy first, then talk. ### Part 1: This week 1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how connected did I feel to you this week? Answer: \_\_\_\_ 2. One moment this week when I felt close to you: Answer: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 3. One thing that was hard for me this week (inside or outside our relationship): Answer: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ ### Part 2: Appreciations 1. Something specific you did that I appreciated: Answer: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 2. A quality of yours I noticed this week: Answer: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ ### Part 3: One issue (optional) 1. I feel: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 2. About this situation: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 3. What I need is: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 4. One small step we could try: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ ### Part 4: Next week 1. Busy days or stresses coming up: Answer: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 2. One thing we will do together: Answer: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 3. One way you could support me: Answer: \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ ### Closing checklist - [ ] We each shared at least one appreciation - [ ] We stuck to one issue or none - [ ] We have a connection plan for next week - [ ] Next check-in is on the calendar For more question ideas, see our [weekly check-in prompts collection](https://strongercouple.app/library/prompts/weekly-check-in-prompts) and the [50 relationship check-in questions](https://strongercouple.app/blog/relationship-check-in-questions). If you want the background on the format, read the [State of the Union meeting definition](https://strongercouple.app/library/glossary/state-of-the-union). ## When to get professional help > **If you feel unsafe.** These ideas assume both partners feel safe. If you are afraid of your partner, or there is abuse, threats or coercive control, couples techniques are not the right tool. Talk to a domestic violence advocate instead. > > - National Domestic Violence Hotline: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. > - 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. > - In an emergency, call 911. > > More resources: [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) A worksheet can help you talk, but it is not a substitute for therapy. Consider a licensed couples therapist if check-ins keep turning into the same fight, if one of you shuts down every time, or if you are dealing with an affair, addiction, or depression. Our [guide to getting help](https://strongercouple.app/library/guides/getting-help) explains your options. If you ever feel afraid of your partner, skip the check-in and go to [Help Now](https://strongercouple.app/help-now) for confidential support. ## Questions people ask ### How long should a weekly relationship check-in take? Most couples need 20 to 40 minutes. This worksheet is built for about 30 minutes. The Gottman Institute's State of the Union meeting runs about an hour, so take longer if you need it, but stop before you are both tired. ### What if a check-in turns into a fight? Pause. Agree to take a break of at least 20 minutes, do something calming, and come back to the conversation later. If check-ins often turn into fights, a couples therapist can help you find out why. ### Do we both have to fill in the worksheet? It works best when each of you answers the questions on your own first, then you compare answers together. If your partner is not ready, you can still use the reflection questions on your own. ## Sources [^1]: A State of the Union Meeting Will Strengthen Your Relationship. The Gottman Institute, 2024. https://www.gottman.com/blog/state-of-the-union-meeting-will-strengthen-your-relationship-heres-how-to-start-yours/ [^2]: The Marriage Checkup: A randomized controlled trial of annual relationship health checkups. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 82(4), 592-604, 2014. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037097 [^3]: The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes. The Gottman Institute, 2024. https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/