Attachment style reflection

This free reflection asks 10 short questions about how you usually feel in close relationships. It looks at two things researchers study: worry about closeness and comfort with depending on someone. You get a plain-language description of your tendencies and one thing to try. It is for reflection, not diagnosis, and it gives no scores or clinical labels.

Free. Runs in your browser. Nothing you enter is saved or sent.

Start the reflection

Read each statement and choose how well it fits how you usually feel in close relationships. There are no right answers. All statements are required.

1.I often worry that my partner will lose interest in me.
2.When my partner does not reply for a while, I start to feel uneasy.
3.I need a lot of reassurance that I am loved.
4.I rarely worry about my partner leaving me.
5.Small changes in my partner’s mood can make me worry about us.
6.I prefer not to show my partner how I feel deep down.
7.I feel uncomfortable when my partner wants to be very close.
8.I find it easy to depend on my partner.
9.When things get hard, I would rather handle them alone.
10.I am comfortable sharing my private thoughts with my partner.

Your answers stay in this browser tab. Nothing is saved or sent anywhere.

What attachment research says

Attachment theory began with John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s work on children. In 1987, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver applied it to adult romantic relationships. Later researchers, including Kelly Brennan and R. Chris Fraley, described adult attachment along two dimensions: anxiety about closeness and avoidance of closeness. Most people fall somewhere in between on both.

Your patterns can shift with different partners, life events and support. Read more in our attachment styles entry.

What this reflection is not

  • It is not a validated clinical questionnaire, and it does not diagnose anything.
  • It does not put you in a box. Results describe tendencies, not who you are.
  • It cannot tell you whether your relationship is right for you.

A licensed therapist can help you explore attachment more deeply.

This tool runs entirely in your browser. Nothing you enter is saved or sent anywhere, and you do not need an account.

Questions

Can attachment patterns change?

Research suggests they can shift over time, especially with supportive relationships and, for some people, therapy.

Why are there no scores?

Scores can feel like a diagnosis. This tool is meant to start reflection and conversation, so it describes tendencies in plain words instead.

Want to keep practicing? Relationship insights in the Stronger Couple app builds on this.