Conflict resolution

The conflict tool in Stronger Couple, called Talk it out, is a six-step guided flow for working through a disagreement. After a short safety check, you name the topic, start gently, take turns with a speaking timer, make and accept repairs, agree on a next step and reconnect. You can pause and come back later. It assumes both partners feel safe.

Updated

Download for iPhone

The six steps

  1. Name the topic. Say what you want to talk about in a few words.
  2. Start gently. Write your concern as a soft startup, focusing on your feelings and needs.
  3. Take turns. Speak and listen while two count-up timers show who has had the floor.
  4. Repair. Note repair attempts: an apology, appreciation, humor, a break, affection or something else.
  5. Find a next step. Agree on one small step you will try.
  6. Reconnect. Look back at your next step and mark the discussion resolved.

When to take a break instead

If either of you feels flooded, pause. Our free conflict pause timer helps you take a real break and come back calmer.

A safety check comes first

Before your first discussion, the app asks whether you ever feel afraid or unsafe with your partner. If you say yes, it explains why couples tools can be risky and points you to Help Now.

Free and Premium

The conflict tool is not part of the free plan. It is included with Premium. The app shows what is included before you subscribe. See pricing for how plans work.

Questions

Is the conflict tool a replacement for couples therapy?

No. It is a practice tool for everyday disagreements. If you keep getting stuck, a licensed couples therapist can help.

What if we have a conflict where one of us feels afraid?

Do not use the conflict tool. Couples techniques are not the right tool when there is fear, threats or abuse. Visit Help Now.

Free resources