A "how well do you know your partner" quiz is a game where one partner answers questions about themselves privately and the other tries to guess. It's a fun way to find out what you know, what you've forgotten and what's changed. Below are 50 quiz questions grouped into favorites, dreams and fears, and memories, plus simple rules for playing. For more lists, see our conversation questions guide, or jump to the interactive partner quiz.

Why a partner quiz is worth playing

A partner quiz is worth playing because it updates your love map, the Gottman Institute's name for the part of your mind where you store important information about your partner's life. The Institute describes couples with detailed love maps as better prepared to handle stress and conflict, and says those couples keep updating their maps as their partner changes [1].

Research from the same lab found that, among newlyweds followed for six years, a husband's fondness and both partners' awareness of each other and the relationship predicted mothers' satisfaction holding steady after a first baby [2]. A quiz is a light way to build that awareness.

It's also simply fun. Couples research suggests that doing novel, exciting things together is linked with feeling better about the relationship [3], and a game night counts.

How to play

Each round, one partner is the "answerer" and the other is the "guesser." Keep it light and focus on the stories behind the answers.

  1. Pick 10 questions from the lists below, mixing categories.
  2. The answerer writes answers privately on paper or in a notes app.
  3. The guesser answers out loud for each question.
  4. Compare and score. One point for each match. Give half a point for "close enough," and be generous.
  5. Ask one follow-up per question. "Why is that your favorite?" or "When did that change?"
  6. Switch roles and play another round.

Favorites questions

Favorites are the warm-up round. They seem easy, but tastes change, so long-term couples can trip up here.

  1. What's my favorite meal to order when we eat out?
  2. What's my all-time favorite movie?
  3. Which snack would I pick at a gas station on a road trip?
  4. What's my favorite way to spend a rainy day?
  5. Which song would I choose to dance to in the kitchen?
  6. What's my favorite dessert?
  7. Which room in our home is my favorite?
  8. What's my favorite thing to do on a day off?
  9. Which drink do I order when I want a treat?
  10. What's my favorite holiday tradition?
  11. Who's my favorite author, artist or musician right now?
  12. What's my favorite thing to wear when I want to feel comfortable?
  13. What's my favorite kind of weather?
  14. Which app do I spend the most time on?
  15. What's my favorite thing about our neighborhood?
  16. What's the best gift I've ever received?
  17. What's my favorite way to be surprised?
  18. Which TV show could I rewatch forever?

Dreams and fears questions

This round is harder and more personal. Take your time with the follow-ups, and either partner can pass.

  1. If I could have any job in the world, what would it be?
  2. What's a place I've always wanted to visit but haven't yet?
  3. What's one of my biggest fears?
  4. What's something I want to accomplish in the next five years?
  5. What would I do first if I won a big prize?
  6. What am I most worried about right now?
  7. What's a skill I'd love to learn?
  8. What kind of home would I build if money didn't matter?
  9. What's something I'm insecure about?
  10. Who do I look up to most?
  11. What's a dream I gave up on?
  12. What would my perfect retirement look like?
  13. What's something that always makes me anxious?
  14. What do I want to be remembered for?
  15. What's a risk I'd love to take if I weren't scared?
  16. What's one thing I'd change about my life right now if I could?

Memories questions

Memory questions test your shared history and your partner's story before you met. They're often the most fun round because they bring back old stories.

  1. Where did we first meet?
  2. What was I wearing on our first date, or what do I remember about it?
  3. What was my first job?
  4. What's my happiest childhood memory?
  5. Who was my best friend growing up?
  6. What's the most memorable trip we've taken together?
  7. What was the first gift I gave you?
  8. What was my favorite subject in school?
  9. What's the funniest thing that's happened to us?
  10. Which pet did I have, or want, as a kid?
  11. What's a hard time we got through together that I'm proud of?
  12. Where was I living when we met?
  13. What's my most embarrassing memory that I've told you about?
  14. When did I first say "I love you," or how did we first say it?
  15. What's a meal we shared that I still talk about?
  16. Which moment in our relationship would I most like to relive?

Ways to make quiz night more fun

A few small twists can turn a simple list into a night you'll want to repeat.

  • Set the scene. Snacks, a playlist and phones in another room make it feel like a date rather than a test.
  • Play for small stakes. The loser picks the next movie, makes breakfast or gives a five-minute shoulder rub.
  • Use themed rounds. Try a "childhood" round, a "this year" round and a "future" round, then compare which one you know best.
  • Add a "why" bonus. Give an extra point when the guesser can explain why their partner would answer that way. It rewards understanding, not just memory.
  • Swap in your own questions. Each partner writes three custom questions on cards. Custom questions often lead to the best stories.
  • Play with friends. Some couples enjoy a game-show version with another couple. Keep questions light in a group, and save the dreams and fears round for when you're alone.

Questions to ask after the quiz

Once the scores are in, a short debrief helps the game turn into real connection:

  • Which answer surprised you most about me?
  • Which question did you most enjoy answering about yourself?
  • Is there anything you wish I'd known that the quiz didn't cover?
  • What's one thing we learned tonight that we should remember?

What to do with your score

Use your score as a conversation starter, not a grade. A low score usually just means life has been busy and your love maps need updating.

  • Celebrate surprises. Every wrong guess is something new you get to learn.
  • Note what's changed. If your partner's dream job or biggest worry has shifted, ask about it later in the week.
  • Repeat it. Play again in six months or on your anniversary and see how your map has grown.
  • Keep it kind. Avoid teasing about missed answers. "I can't believe you don't know that" can sting, even as a joke. Try "Ooh, tell me about that" instead.
  • Go deeper. If you enjoyed the dreams round, try our love map questions, which go from easy to expert.

Try the interactive quiz

Prefer a ready-made game? Our free how well do you know your partner quiz runs right in your browser and is easy to share.

For an ongoing version, our app's Love Maps partner quiz has more than 160 questions across eight categories and three difficulty levels, so you can keep learning about each other over time.

Quizzes should feel playful. If you're afraid of how your partner might react to a "wrong" answer, that matters more than any score. Please visit Help Now for confidential support.

When to get professional help

A quiz can show you've drifted, but it can't fix deeper problems on its own. Consider a licensed couples therapist if you notice:

  • Ongoing contempt or withdrawal
  • An affair or broken trust
  • Addiction affecting your relationship
  • Depression or anxiety affecting daily life
  • Any fear of your partner
  • Thoughts of self-harm

Our getting help guide and our article on how to find a couples therapist can help. If you're thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988.

This article is for education and is not a substitute for professional help.

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